Data Loading...
Black Girl Powerhouse Magazine February 2020 Flipbook PDF
Black Girl Powerhouse Magazine February 2020. We're spreading the LOVE!
123 Views
86 Downloads
FLIP PDF 8.08MB
TOP 10
Welcome from editor & founder of Black Girl Powerhouse
It appears that 2020 is off to a roaring start! I’ve witnessed so many women making plans to birth a new business, get their households in order and implement lifestyle changes that pertain to their health. Whatever your goals are for 2020, please know that the Black Girl Powerhouse staff is rooting for you. And no matter how frustrating or challenging reaching your goals may be, always remember that you have the black girl magic trait. It simply means you can accomplish anything your heart desires. Stay the course and be prepared for many daunting obstacles that will possibly come your way. Those obstacles are designed to wake you, shake you, but never to break you. They can also be setbacks that are setups for the future. If a door closes, don’t sweat it. Be thankful. What you probably don’t know is . . . there’s one big headache brewing on the other side of that door. I know many of you have heard it all before, but these are just reminders some of us need in the moment. Plan accordingly in 2020 and let’s all make a commitment to make this year the best one yet.
The February edition of Black Girl Powerhouse Magazine is all about spreading love. I’m so excited that you’ll get a chance to read more about our choice for 2019 Woman of the Year, Danielle Langford. She is phenomenal, and beginning on page 28, you’ll read how and why she represents black queens all across the world. Like Danielle, we push through the storms and hold on to our faith to make it through. I couldn’t be more proud of her, along with so many of you who figured out ways to weather your storms as well.
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
On page 8 you’ll discover 10 easy steps that will put you on a path to living your best life. Some recommendations are difficult to do, but keep telling yourself, “I got this!” The Anonymous Sista is back, and beginning on page 18, you can read about a friendship being torn apart. Unfortunately, it happens quite often, and our Sista offers some pretty good solid advice. Kitchen Table Talk is lit up with great information about investing. Be sure to follow the chart on page 34 and save some money. The facts and fiction about Black Love starts on page
40,
and don’t forget to read a very interesting article, Stop Living Like You’re Dying, by Jasmine Hill. It’s time to wake up and start living life to the fullest. Mommy & Me by Sandra Copeland begins on page 56. Many of us can relate to being single mothers, so be sure to check it out. What’s Your Take On It is all about Lizzo, and Keisha Ervin wraps up her top 15 novels of 2019 on page 66.
This edition also includes information about our scholarship program for 2020 seniors, redecorating your room with 4M2H Designs, and about our new YouTube channel, Black Girl Stuff! Be sure to subscribe and see what’s cooking. Favorite quotes and photos from beautiful black women across the country grace our pages, and we’ve shared a few simple things you can do to celebrate Black History Month. Finally, we’ve teamed up with the 2DEF Initiative to assist with their Domestic Violence campaign. Find out how you can make a contribution on page 49. As you can see, this edition is jam packed with a little bit of everything. Hope you enjoy it and so much love to you all!
Brenda Hampton www.brendamhampton.com www.facebook.com/blackgirlpowerhouse www.bgphouse.com www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
P.O. Box 773 Bridgeton MO 63044
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Happy Love Yourself Day from the Black Girl Powerhouse Staff
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Jessica W. Leonard
Artist, Model, & Ambassador IG: @BourgeoisGurlMU FB: BourgeoisGurlMU
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Sometimes, you just have to stand out from all the rest.
www.bgphouse.com
TOP
WAYS TO START
LIVING YOUR
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Be true to YOU Surround and follow yourself with your productive dreams. people. Tighten Travel. your circle, if you Get off the couch must. and explore what’s out Limit your time there. on social media. Learn to listen. Stay out of other There are other Don’t speak, people’s business. things to do. just listen. Fully You’re missing Focus more on examine the your own. out. opinions of others. Eat healthy, exercise and drink plenty of water. Trust God and stop worrying about things Learn to forgive. that are beyond It can be hard your control. Be proactive. to do, but it’s Never put off an important what you can step in the do today, for healing process. tomorrow. It is not promised. www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Treat yourself to a
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Did you know that people who take yearly vacations experience less stress, have better attitudes and are more motivated to achieve their goals? Traveling is considered a very good investment. You can go any place in the world, as long as you plan accordingly. Exposing yourself to new environments and other cultures can be beneficial, as well as educational. Vacations allow you to spend long overdue quality time with family and friends. If you find that people in your circle are not as hyped about traveling as you are, don’t hesitate to travel alone or join traveling groups to partner with individuals who love to travel. Traveling gives you something to look forward to. And, after all the work you’ve put in, why not make it a priority?
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
MAKE YOUR SKIN
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
2020 SPECIAL EDITION
CELEBRATE GIRLS. SEND US PHOTOS FOR OUR SPECIAL EDITION AND TELL US HER STORY. MUST BE 18 OR UNDER. [email protected]
It’s time for a Room Makeover!
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
A Black Girl Powerhouse Company The owners of 4M2H Designs would like to gift one lucky girl or young lady with a complete room makeover! Tell us why your room needs a special touch added to it and send photos of the current space you would like to have decorated. The deadline for this project is April 1, 2020. Makeover must have parental approval and you must be a Missouri resident. Winner will be announced on April 15th, so be sure to get those submissions in! *Ages 5-16 only
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Live every moment, laugh every day and love beyond words.
Kaye Bailey
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Time will clearly tell with this gold bangle watch made of stainless steel. Also comes in rose gold and silver.
www.bgphouse.com
Dear Anonymous Sista, my name is Bev. I’m struggling with trying to be the best friend I can to two friends who literally hate each other. Several years ago, we were all good friends. We grew up together, shopped together, partied together . . . we were inseparable. That was until one of my friends started dating an ex-boyfriend of the other friend. Things got real messy and they even got into a fight over the situation. After that, they went separate ways but remained friends with me. The relationship between the exboyfriend and my friend lasted for about six months. They called it quits, but it still did not mend the friendship between my friends. The division grew wider, and I fear that their relationship can never be fixed. A part of me is hopeful that things will one day get back to the way they were, but then there are times when I believe I’m fooling myself. It’s hard being in the middle. I have to listen to each of them talk horribly bad about the other and many of the things they say are hurtful. Whenever I spend time with one friend, the other gets jealous. I get accused of being “too friendly” to the other person and picking sides. I’m torn and don’t know what to do. Sometimes, I feel like I should walk away from both friends, but I love them dearly. I have been
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
critical of my friend who made the wrong decision to date the ex-boyfriend, but I feel like it was her choice. In no way am I excusing it, but I remember how vulnerable she was at the time. She had just ended one bad relationship and the ex was kind of there to help her pick up the pieces. I also understand why my other friend felt hurt and betrayed. She wasn’t in love with her ex, but she thinks ex-boyfriends are off limits. Clearly, I don’t know. I’m stuck in the middle and haven’t a clue how to get out. Should I walk away? It’s hard because there are other times when I’m determined to bring my friends back together.
Hi Bev. Thanks for reaching out to me and providing details about your dilemma. I must say that you have yourself in a very uncomfortable position with friends you seem to really treasure. In this instance, and to remove yourself from the middle, I suggest you do a couple of things. First, you need to make it clear to both friends that you will not tolerate either of them bad mouthing the other. And if they choose to do it, you don’t have to listen. You can abruptly end the conversation or change the subject to let them know you’re not open to hearing the negativity. Another thing you can do is be totally honest with the friend who chose to date the other friend’s ex. You seem indecisive about how you view her actions, even though you admitted they were wrong. While some people may not feel dating an ex is wrong, if YOU feel it is, then you should have the courage to say so and not condone it to make your friend feel
better. You should also try to encourage your friend to apologize or maybe even admit wrongdoing. Remember, it was her actions that ended the friendship, and if the other friend was troubled by her actions, the least the one who started the betrayal can do is apologize for the hurt she caused. She could very well feel that she did nothing wrong, but a genuine friend doesn’t ignore the hurt they’ve caused to another. As for you, Bev, walking away from your friends is a decision you’ll have to make. If the situation becomes too toxic or unbearable, just don’t allow it to affect you to a point where you’re completely stressed out over it. Friends or no friends, their decisions in life shouldn’t weigh you down. Do what you can to mend the friendship, but please realize that it will take more work on their part, than it should on yours. Good luck.
To tell the Anonymous Sista about your dilemma and get some feedback in the BGPH magazine, email her at: [email protected]. Be sure to include DILEMMA in the subject line. Your real name will be kept anonymous.
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
MaidenStyle Pillowcases
www.bgphouse.com
www.bgphouse.com
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
No matter what you’re going through, remember that you are not alone. Laugh hard, cry if need be, smile and dance like a ballerina. Your today doesn’t know what tomorrow will bring. Live, love & be happy.
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Watermelon Pineapples Bananas Peaches Strawberries Kiwis. . .
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
www.bgphouse.com
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Get ready for something new, exciting and very different on YouTube! Black Girl Stuff is a channel that will share some of our favorite products we think black women and girls will absolutely love. If you are a business owner who would like for us to support your business and purchase your product to talk about on our YouTube channel, feel free to contact us at: [email protected]
Products of Interest Clothes Jewelry Purses/Backpacks Perfumes, Lotions, Soaps, etc. Books Music Quilts/Blankets Hats Shoes Mugs Journals/Planners and more!
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
D A N I E L L E L A N G F O R D
“”Through it ALL, I was giving birth to me. I cried, prayed, danced, meditated, sought therapy, and found my way to me. I had to UNBECOME in order to Become whom God had intended.”
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
People often hear me say that I have the best job in the world. I most certainly do, and every time I have an opportunity to meet or converse with inspirational, trailblazing women who represent every aspect of the black woman, I love my job even more. Something magical happens in those moments, and even a simple email that summarizes a woman’s accomplishments, challenges, struggles, and even tragedies can do many things. It can motivate me, change me, open my eyes, and many times warm my heart. That’s exactly what happened as I read through many of the nominations for 2019 Black Woman of the Year. I was touched, but one particular nomination resonated with me, and my staff, and truly moved us. The nomination characterized a faithful woman who discovered how to turn her tragedies into triumph, losses into gains and disappointments into selflove. A new celebration of life was exemplified, along with a sense of urgency to continue to work on self while uplifting others. The weight of her words brought a wide smile to my face; the effect was powerful . . . We (black
women) aren’t acknowledged enough for our strength, wisdom,
struggles and successes, in spite of our circumstances. There’s nothing stronger than a woman who has rebuilt herself through Christ. I am a new woman; spiritually, physically and mentally. I liken myself to the butterfly; without the struggle the butterfly can’t fly. Not only has this past year, but the last two years and nine months has been an emotional rollercoaster. Through it all, I persevered with prayer (talking to God), meditation (listening time with God), exercising, dancing and moving forward. Yes, yes, yes to all of this! I’m still pumping my fist for the 2019 Black Woman of the Year, Danielle Langford, and her “free to be me” attitude is a model to live by. During our discussion, I invited Danielle to tell us more about her. She didn’t hesitate to share.
Wow! Where do I begin? I was born in Detroit, MI, my blood type is . . . just kidding. I would describe myself as caring, devoted, and loyal, sometimes to a fault. I’ve had to make some major adjustments in my life and focus more on ME. Now, I’m in a good, growing place, and I’m pouring more into myself so I can practice
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
what I preach, which is self-love. My parents always taught me the importance of self-love and they’re my heroes. They were my first and wisest teachers; I love them with ALL of my heart. When I lost my beloved father, it was a very difficult time for me. He was, and still is, my first love. There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss him. He has passed on, but the love remains and will never fade. I totally understand what losing a parent feels like and many people can relate. Picking up the pieces is not easy, but I asked Danielle to describe her motivation and drive to continue on.
GOD! Simple and Grand, there is no greater motivator. I have certainly had many challenges, but the most recent ones were the death of my father and dealing with a divorce. I had to UNBECOME, in order to OVERCOME. God being the source used his resources to aid me on this journey to healing. Through prayer, fellowship, exercise, writing, therapy, meditation, my mom, and help from a few good sistahs, I am in a good place. Yes, I think we all should recognize that with God in charge, anything . . . everything is possible. It’s important not to give up, and having just a little
faith can go a long way. Danielle knows this to be true and she envisions a brighter future ahead. I asked her to share a few accomplishments she’s proud of and give us a glimpse into her future.
I wrote and published my first book, “Letters for My Son” in October 2016; I became a professor after spending most of my career in the corporate world, and was featured in the comment section of Oprah Magazine. I am working on my next book, “Next Chapter”, and in addition to that, I now grace the cover of Black Girl Powerhouse Magazine. That’s pretty major and thank you again! As for the future, in the words of Beyonce, “None of my fears can go where I’m headed.” So with that said, I sing, dance or pray away any fears. I’m walking into the best year of my life. I can’t wait to see what else God has for me, and who he has for me to share it with. I love, love. I have chosen to be choosy, and I’m taking the time to love me, so that my King knows how to love me. He has to know he’s a King. And I love to see women on the right path. We can all agree that
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
finding the right King matters, because Queens deserve a partner who appreciates them and have their backs. I questioned Danielle about what it means to be 2019 Black Woman of the Year, and if she had one wish for black women, what would it be?
It means that WE matter. Black Women are graceful, peaceful, loving and deserving of love, support, and encouragement. Being named the 2019 Black Woman of the Year is a celebration of our pains, our abilities and our compassion. It means that we represent love and all its facets. I am so incredibly grateful. This is one of THE highlights of my year; I celebrate US. My wish is that we give each other, and ourselves, permission to BE; be vulnerable, be sad, grieve and love on each other as often as we can. SEE each other. Most of all that we can experience LOVE at its best, from the inside out. And, that we be loved, treasured and respected. Doing so would right a whole lot of wrongs. Meanwhile, I will continue to be my sisters’ keeper. Yes, I have your back and you got mine! To say I’m proud of Danielle would be an understatement. I’m more than proud to refer to her as Black Woman of the Year, and I hope everyone who reads this will partake in the celebration by saying a prayer and wishing Danielle well on her journey. To learn more about the nomination process for Black Woman of the Year, be sure to join our mailing list and subscribe to the BGPH Magazine for future updates.
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Sending a tower of love for a deserving special woman. Danielle, we thank you for simply being . . . YOU!
SNACKS DON’T HAVE TO BE BORING
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Don’t underestimate the power of a planted seed. Faith can help it grow into something
MAGICAL. Signed, Black Women www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
It’s time to gather around for our Kitchen Table discussion. Bring your family to the table and get ready to talk about the importance of investing. It’s a word that many of us are afraid of, simply because we are not willing to take ANY risk when it comes to our money. But with so many new investment opportunities available, why not put your extra money where your mouth is and start securing a real future for your family. As with anything you do, research always helps. I’m not going to tell you which stocks or mutual funds I think you should invest in—that will be totally up to you. What I will say, however, is this. Opening an online broker account for trading purposes is a very good start. This will enable you to directly buy and sell everything from stocks and bonds to mutual funds. Over the long term, the return on a diversified portfolio is greater than simply having a savings account. You are the one in control, and you can make trade transactions right from your own computer. Why now? Why should we talk about investing now? Well, if you haven’t noticed, the stock market is at an all-time high. Many companies are showing optimism for the future and with so many new innovations on the horizon, particularly in technology, health, agriculture, energy, cannabis . . . now is the time for you to plant a tiny seed and watch it grow. Keep in mind that you don’t have to invest all of your money into stocks and you can start with very little cash. You also don’t have to wear your wealth, and the notion that people need to see your wealthy status on you is nonsense. It’s nice to have the finer things in life, but be smart about your finances. Start utilizing your money so that it can benefit you in the long run, and know that being frugal isn’t necessarily a bad thing at all. There is no secret that we are conditioned to spend rather than to invest. It’s time to break the cycle. There’s been a divisive agenda to keep us in the dark—one that has prohibited us from getting ahead and implementing ideas that truly strengthen the black community. Teaching our children how to invest, instead of spend, is one of the best ways forward. I cannot stress this enough, and as you create your own portfolio, be sure to encourage your family and friends to create one as well.
KITCHEN www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
BEFORE YOU START TO INVEST, BASIC THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ARE: What is the stock market and how does it work? . How to buy stocks online? What’s the best place to set up a diversified portfolio? Do you need to consult with a stockbroker or not? Those are just a few things to get you started. Encourage your children to start saving money, too. Show them the 52-week money challenge so they can watch their money grow. They’ll be excited about it; so will you. Make 2020 the year you decided to take control of your finances and live a more prosperous life.
TABLE TALK
Little Things We Should All Know and Appreciate
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
WE CAN DO THIS! RIGHT?
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
There’s power and strength in the ability to get back up when you’ve been knocked down continuously. But the way my God is set up, I’ve overcome more obstacles than I could possibly imagine. The sudden life changes and circumstances humbled me tremendously and I can’t be anything more than happy to say that I made it and I’m going to continue to make it. www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Jade A.Wyatt Instagram: Jade.fitt_
All you need sometimes is
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Love The Facts and the Fiction
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
FACT: It is a fact that black love is a beautiful thing. With the right amount of respect, communication, honesty, loyalty and forgiveness, black love can survive anything. No matter how it is portrayed in the media, it is enduring, sexy and powerful. It can lift you up when you’re feeling down and prompt you to make life-changing, beneficial decisions that are much needed at the right time. Black love is not to be underestimated. What it represents is strength; strength that our children need to witness, so that as they grow older they’ll seek the same amount of strength in their relationships. The one thing that I love about black love is the security it enables me to feel, no matter where I’m at or whatever I’m doing. Just knowing that black love is affiliated with me, makes me feel complete. FICTION: Some people believe black love should be perfect; it is not. Or, that it should be easy; nope. As a matter of fact, it can come with many challenges and cause you to make several adjustments in your life that you might not be prepared to do. In order to have a long-lasting relationship, you must rid yourself of fantasies and be prepared to take on the ups, downs and all arounds associated with black love. That doesn’t mean you have to put up with any nonsense from the other person. Evaluate your situation at every turn, and make sure the other person is positioning themselves to grow with you. If not, move on. Despite the negativity we see and hear about black love, the desire to experience it is far greater. Once you find it, celebrate it and never give up on it. The one thing you can be sure of is it will never give up on you! www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
BLACK WO
www.bgphouse.com www.bgphouse.com
The holidays are over, so let’s gear up to bounce back in a major way. One of the easiest ways to do it is to WALK. Daily walking enables us to burn calories and create a healthy heart. I know we’ve heard it all before, but take steps to indulge in exercise that relieves stress, builds your self-esteem, increases your metabolism, reduces high blood pressure and helps you sleep better. There are many more benefits related to walking so lace up your tennis shoes and get started today.
www.bgphouse.com www.bgphouse.com
Everyone has a story to tell. There are a lot of chapters in your life. Start a new one with a new you. You are the author in charge.
Dream IT Believe IT Do IT
D.B.D.
Toni Lynn Instagram: tonilynngetsart
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
www.bgphouse.com
Every chapter in your life will require a new version of yourself. Be prepared for seasonal changes that transform you into a better you.
Tarynn Hampton
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
healing the mind, body and soul, one deep breath at a time
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
The Black Girl Powerhouse will be assisting 2DEF Initiative with their Domestic Violence Campaign to deliver Love Packages to women shelters. The items we’ll be collecting are: lotions, socks, toothpastes, shampoos & conditioners. You can send to: BGPH, P.O. Box 773, Bridgeton, MO or to any of the drop-off locations above. Deadline is February 7, 2020 Thanks and let’s continue to be our Sisters’ Keepers.
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
STOP LIVING LIKE YOU’RE DYING AGE AIN’T NOTHING BUT A NUMBER Jasmine Hill, Poet & Aspiring Writer
You aren’t dead yet, you hear me? I said, you ain’t dead yet, so stop walking around with your head hanging low, looking disheveled, not taking care of yourself and strolling around like it’s the end of the world. Statistics show that by the time women get to their mid fifties, certain things don’t matter to us anymore. We get set in our ways, stop doing things that used to make us happy, and many of the words that come from our mouths have to do with dying or about people who have died. May they rest in peace. At this stage, or age, in the game, YOU should matter. You have to stop living like you’re dying and start living like your age doesn’t really matter. The truth is, it doesn’t. No matter what age you are, if you want to party, you can. If you want to dance, feel free. If you want to travel, take the next flight out of town. If you want to ride a bike or have all
the sex you can handle, why not? Good for you! Just take the precautious to protect yourself, as we all have been encouraged to do. At the age of 58, I’ve noticed that several of my associates have stopped living. They’re in bed by 7:00 p.m., working all the time and complaining about how tired they are. “Black don’t crack, but being black don’t stop these old bones from cracking,” a friend of mine said. Maybe she’s right, but sitting around doing nothing all day and letting those bones stiffen isn’t good either. It’s perfectly fine to take a chill pill every now and then, and I understand for some people the club scene is played out by now. But that’s not the type of “partying” I look forward to. I don’t have to be in a club to dance and neither do you. My idea of “partying” consist of planning a nice gathering at my house for friends to
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
come together and enjoy ourselves. Throw in some music, drinks, food, good conversation . . . and now you have yourself a P.A.R.T.Y. Cleaning up after my company is gone can be a headache, but after hearing everyone inquire about the date and time for our next shindig, it makes it all worth it. I set goals to plan parties as much as my schedule allows it, to travel, at least, twice a year, to make sure I attend my favorite movies when they’re released, pamper myself as often as I can, shop when I have a little extra money to spend, and treat myself to my favorite restaurant every month. For me, those things are simple and they’re the least I can do for myself. I started focusing more on living, instead of dying. It changed my life in a major way and you can do it, too. Dismiss your fears of getting older. Learn to live, not only a little, but a lot. Throw away those bucket lists and make a list of things that bring you the joy, excitement, peace and happiness you deserve today.
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Building A Positive Sisterhood
EXPLORING THE WORLD TOGETHER
DeVonshae Ali & Lakecha Hancock
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) 9) 10) 11)
Make a donation to a HBCU Attend cultural events in your community Mentor children and tell them what you’ve learned about Black History Cook and enjoy a hearty soul food meal Register to VOTE Support black artists and business owners Visit Black History Museums Delve into your family’s history Embrace your natural hair Support black authors Share facts about Black History on social media and engage in positive communication 12) Read King’s “I Have a Dream” speech, and invite your children to talk about their dreams/aspirations 13) Watch movies that portray the black struggle and slavery 14) Search and share information about African American inventors 15) Create paintings or draw pictures of some of your favorite African American heroes
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
by Sandra Copeland
[email protected]
There were times when I felt completely exhausted. Times when I wanted to go on a spontaneous trip all by myself to do the one thing that didn’t seem to exist in my world anymore. That one thing was to just relax. That was it, but between work and being a mom, anything related to relaxing seemed impossible. As a single mother, I barely had time for ME anymore. My threeyear-old son kept me busy and almost everything that I did revolved around him. I wasn’t mad because I love my son dearly. He is my everything, and I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I enjoy spending time with him; watching him grow is the best feeling ever. Our bond gets stronger by the day and I know he feels that it’s all about Mommy & Me. It is, especially since I was in
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
a position where I had to raise him by myself. I used to get upset about it, but after awhile, I got tired of all the arguments and headaches that came from going back-and-forth with his father. There is only so much a person can take, and I finally made a decision to move on. Some people say I let him off the hook, but call it whatever you want . . . my peace of mind is important. I wasn’t sure if I would ever get that peace of mind, especially since my decision made me solely responsible for every aspect and detail of my son’s life. I was prepared to do it all by myself, until I found myself in a sunken place with no outlet. I didn’t trust anyone with my son and neighborhood babysitters weren’t an option. Family and friends were always too busy when I asked them to watch my son, so I eventually stopped asking. It didn’t surprise me when I’d found myself in a sunken place; after all, I had created it. Like so many single mothers do, I went into protective mode, shut everybody out, proclaimed that I could do this all by myself and refused to seek any options to free myself, just a little. For me to even say or think that I needed a break seemed like I was neglecting my son. In reality, I was neglecting myself. It was now up to me to figure out how to get out of this situation and do it fast. Why? Because my unhappiness started affecting my son. He felt it for sure and could tell that Mommy wasn’t smiling as much anymore. Our bond was slipping away
and that’s when I decided to make some changes. The first thing I did was find a reliable person that could assist with my son, whenever I needed some ME time. I had to build trust with this person, so I allowed her to visit for a few hours each week. I didn’t leave home until my son started to gravitate towards her and we both felt comfortable. In the beginning, my hours away were short. Maybe just a few hours here and there, and then they increased. The second thing I did was schedule weekly yoga classes at a nearby rec center. Yoga provided me a chance to wind down and get the relaxation I needed from working at home 50-60 hours a week, while taking care of my son at the same time. The last thing I did was file for child support. Whether my son’s father chose to be in his life or not, I needed help financially. I couldn’t do this by myself, and it wasn’t fair that nearly every dime I’d made had to go towards my son’s expenses. Initially, my actions led to more disagreements with my ex, but he eventually paid his part and started being a father to his son. Those small actions made every bit of the difference in my life, and I now feel like I can be the best mommy I can be. “It didn’t surprise me when I’d found myself in a sunken place with no outlet.”
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Negative or positive, first impressions are everything. The scent of your
fragrance will linger, even after you’ve left the room.
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
Toni Jackson-Simmons
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
DON’T QUIT When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit rest if you must, but don’t you quit. Life is queer with its twists and its turns, as everyone of us sometimes learns. And many times failure turns about, when they might have won, had they stuck it out. Don’t give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed with another blow. Often the goal is nearer than it seems to a faint and faltering man. Often the struggler has given up when he might have captured the victor’s cup. And he learned too late when the night came down, how close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint of the clouds of doubt. And you never can tell how close you are, it may be near when it seems so far. So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit, it’s when things seem worse that you must not quit!
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
www.bgphouse.com
Facebook.com/CTBeadsandBling Instagram: CT Beads and Bling Email: [email protected]
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
LIZZO, LIZZO, LIZZO! When Lizzo went to a Laker’s game dressed in an oversized shirt . . .dress (chile, I don’t know what it was) with an open back that showed her thong, she started a firestorm on social media. The critics came out and nearly everyone had something to say. Many people dragged her for twerking while the lyrics to her song were being played. In her defense, it was her song. What was she supposed to do? Just sit there? LOL. Well, after all the fat shaming, misogynistic comments and total disrespect from men especially, I decided to throw in my two cents. YOU GO GIRL was what I suggested, because it became apparent that the most disgusting thing wasn’t the way Lizzo was dressed or danced, it was how she was treated. The comments became outright ridiculous and Lizzo became the posterchild for why there’s an obesity crisis in America. How dare we put the blame on her and attempt to spin that kind of garbage. Whether we approve of her actions or not, the comments went too far. That’s just my take on it. Here is what some of the people on social media had to say.
The next time I go out, I’m wearing the exact same thing as Lizzo. People wear what they want. Get over it.
I love Lizzo, but that was too much.
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
I have never read so much disrespect coming from men. It’s shameful. Who are they to critique us?
Not in front of the children. If it was at her concert, fine. But kids were there, I was there . . . it was embarrassing as hell.
People On Social Media Weigh In . . . It didn’t bother me one bit. I’m a Lizzo fan and she inspires me like I’ve never been inspired before.
A thong? Really? I’m not okay with none of this and it will not be normalized by me.
There are certain things that big girls shouldn’t wear. She looked a mess. Why can’t we be honest with her?
People are jealous because they can’t bring it like she does. Shut the hell up and mind your own business. She looks great!
After being named entertainer of the year, I honestly don’t think she gives a damn what anyone thinks.
Go Lizzo! Your fans support you.
Attention Seeker!
BIG FAN FOREVER!
Pure Confidence
Hell to the no. I’m embarrassed for her.
Did you see people’s faces at the game?
She looked fine to me
No way! I love it.
Trashy at it’s best.
Bestselling Novelist, Motivational Speaker & Beauty Consultant www.youtube.com/user/ColorMePynk
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
COLOR ME PYNK 1. Ethic 6 by Ashley Antoinette 2. Magnus by Tina Martin
3. Heart So Reckless by K.C. Mills 4. Butterfly by Ashley Antoinette 5. Christmas with the Okafors by Ashley Antoinette 6. Monty by Tina Martin 7. Locked Doors by Tiffany Patterson 8. He Who Is a Lover by Love Belvin
9.Set by Alexandria House
TOP 2019
10. Prisoner: The Blood War by Bee Daniels 11. Married to the Connect 5 by Miss Candice 12. Destino by Sienna Mynx 13. Give Her Love, Giver Her Power by Mercy B. 14. You Set My Soul on Fire by Nique Luarks 15. The Banker by Penelope Sky
BLACK GIRL POWERHOUSE
FOR 2020 SENIORS Inquire at: [email protected] www.bgphouse.com www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
SEND US YOUR PHOTOS, ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS WITH US, BECOME A PAID CONTRIBUTING WRITER, SHARE THE BGPH MAGAZINE, GET FEATURED, AND LOVE THE SKIN YOU’RE IN! For more information about Black Girl Powerhouse, LLC or to inquire about the 2020 editions of our magazine, email us at: [email protected] LIKE US ON FACEBOOK www.facebook.com/blackgirlpowerhouse We build . . . We celebrate . . . We believe . . . in us!
THANK YOU
www.blackgirlpowerhouse.com
enter the cave to unlock a treasure of beauty
COMING SOON A Black Girl Powerhouse Company