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Recovery Plus November 2021 Flipbook PDF
Christmas and new year are the riskiest times of the calendar for relapse. We ask experts how to survive and even thrive
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Recovery Plus
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How to help addicts into long-term enriched recovery
Survive christmas AVOID RELAPSE – AND ENJOY YOURSELF" We ask experts how to survive and even thrive during the riskiest time of year for relapses. NEW TRADITIONS FOR PARENTS How can we enjoy the holidays when our child is addicted? Sandy Swenson shares five tips. ADVICE FOR FAMILY MEMBERS OF ADDICTS Setting boundaries is a great place to start. Clouds House helps to protect relationships. GIFT IDEAS FOR PEOPLE IN RECOVERY We save you time and effort by locating fun and thoughtful gifts celebrating recovery. MANAGE SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER: SAD In winter months, SAD can worsen relapse triggers. Harriet Bowyer alleviates the symptoms. NEWCOMERS SHARE FEARS AND HOPES Clients in rehab bravely share their innermost thoughts on how this time of year affects them. WATCH THE LATEST VIDEOS Free webinars on managing stress and addiction, handling loneliness and discarding "should do"s. START YOUR CLIENTS' THERAPY NOW! People in recovery can unconsciously act out past Christmas traumas as early as November. PLUS: Keep up with your colleagues for News... How to find self help groups... Directory of rehabs in the UK and abroad... Register for the conference of 2022 to get discounts...
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Christmas and new year are the riskiest times of the calendar for relapse – christmas because of all the painful memories and emotions it raises, nd the new year due to complacency about surviving christmas. But it need not be this way. We asked addiction recovery professionals how to survive christmas and even mature the concept into building happier foundations for the future. Plan ahead. Write your plans as a template. Share or 'diarise' your emotions. Ensure that, next christmas, your memories and remembered emotions will be good ones, emanating from the positive actions you took this holiday season. What you do now is your building block for 2022. In early recovery, my christmases pivoted around a 12-step meeting on 25 December to kickstart the day. It was not only the safest place for me but I was surrounded by genuine feelings of agape and goodwill of other recovering people in the meeting(s) with me. Then I went on to my own rituals. One is texting or calling loved ones on christmas day. Others concentrate on giving their children the joys they never experienced themselves on this day, and in so doing give love to their 'inner child'. Some resolve to have a walk in nature, to be thankful to be part of the world and all that they now have. It's about the basics, not expensive gifts.
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Group, family, and individual therapy
Create your own rituals, your own history. Create traditions which will give you and those close to you joy this christmas, which will in turn act as inspirational building blocks for future years. Plans tend to go awry but do have a plan in place so that you have something both healthy and happy to enjoy in the moment and when you look back on this time of year. Some people cherish reconnecting with their family of origin, others must separate from it but can take pride in their resilience. For them, new traditions are perhaps most important.
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Contents: FOR YOUR DIARY: Participate in DB Recovery+ Ukesad conference 30 June+1 July, 2022 London. Details at RecoveryPlusDB.com CEUs and CPDs awarded.
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SURVIVE AND THRIVE IN THE RISKIEST TIME OF YEAR FOR RELAPSE
You know you are reading accurate facts when the research and anecdotal evidence marry up.
NEWS: UK
Latest substance-misuse treatment statistics... Calls grow for investment in treatment... Nicola Sturgeon's drug mayhem... Parliament debates alcohol harm... Support midwives...
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NEWS: US
Annual drug overdose deaths top 100,000 for first time... Recruit mental-health counsellors to screen addiction... Why the US is losing the addiction battle... Trauma & addiction webinar.
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NEWS: INTERNATIONAL
EMCDDA webinar: drug deaths in Europe... UNODC synthetic-drug strategy to 2025... WHO: only 5.2% of people with alcohol disorder get helpful treatment... and more.
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TOP TIPS TO AVOID RELAPSE ADURINGCHRISTMAS AND THE NEW YEAR
Christmas – and then the new year when complacency sets in after surviving Christmas – are the riskiest times of the calendar for relapse. We ask experts how to survive and thrive.
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USE ACUPRESSURE TO HELP CONQUER CRAVINGS... AND MORE TIPS
Don’t strive for perfection, it won’t happen. Relax, go with the flow. Keep it in the day. Find some 'me time' if you need to recharge. Prepare a getaway plan. Use acupressure.
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FOR PARENTS OF ADDICTED CHILDREN: TIME FOR NEW TRADITIONS? How can we enjoy the holidays when our child is addicted and can't stay sober from alcohol and other drugs? Sandy Swenson shares five tips to support parents.
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GIFT IDEAS FOR PEOPLE IN RECOVERY
It's the thought that counts. Christmas is a time of gifts and showing that you care – we save you time and effort by locating thoughtful and fun gifts celebrating recovery. OUR MISSION: Recovery Plus is edited and published by people in recovery from addictive behaviours, with the aim of helping others to enjoy the benefits of recovery, and support those who guide them there. DETAILS: For all editorial enquiries, contact Deirdre Boyd [email protected].
Advertising: Philip Fisher [email protected] +44 (0)7507 117456. Print journal queries: George Powell [email protected].
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MANAGE SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER: SAD
In winter months, SAD depresses many people in recovery and could worsen relapse triggers. Harriet Bowyer explains why it happens and how to manage symptoms.
WATCH AND LISTEN TO OUR PICK OF THE LATEST VIDEOS
Scott Silverman describes ways to manage stress and addiction, McLean Hospital's Dr Lisa Coyne pushes back against loneliness and Dr Susan Noonan warns of the "should do" list.
ADVICE FOR FAMILY MEMBERS OF ADDICTS
We need to look after ourselves this Christmas and over the holidays. Setting boundaries and sticking to them is a great place to start. Clouds House shares its guidance.
CAN YOU PLAY HAPPY FAMILIES?
People in addiction recovery can struggle with returning home for the holidays since thatis often where their battle with addiction started. Devin Lincenberg suggests backup plans.
NEWCOMERS SHARE FEARS AND HOPES
In the previous articles, you can read advice from experts on surviving christmas – here, clients in rehab bravely shared their innermost thoughts.
HOW TO FIND: SELF HELP GROUPS
How to contact the mutual-aid groups recommended by the World Health Organisation and NICE: free support for life, with others who have survived similar problems.
HOW TO FIND: PROFESSIONAL CARE, UK
If you or a loved one want the best of treatment for an addiction problem, find it in our list of residential rehabs and daycare.
HOW TO FIND: PROFESSIONAL CARE, US & EUROPE
Want to go outside the UK for addiction treatment? Choose from these top facilities.
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Online Training in Sex & Porn Addiction
Christmas
CPD Training Events
Sex Addiction or Sexual Compulsivity? Online Monday 8th November, Trainer Dr Paula Hall £80 This CPD workshop will provide counsellors, psychotherapists and health professionals with a thorough understanding of popular conceptualisations of sex addiction, porn addiction and CSBD (Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder), with particular focus on a biopsychosocial model.
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Specialist diploma level training and CPD for professionals working with people with sex and porn addiction and their partners. Working with Couples and Sex & Porn Addiction Masterclass – Online Thursday 9th & Friday 10th December £150 This two day CPD masterclass will givetailored relationship counsellors the skills to work with whose relationships have Specifically for delivery online viacouples Zoom.
November 2021 Substance-misuse treatment statistics
been impacted by sex or porn addiction, or CSBD (Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder).
CPD Follow Days the link https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/cpd-days to Dates book and pay for either of the above. Monday 25th January 2021 Understanding & Recognising Sex Addiction * ISAT Diploma in Sex Addiction Counselling (CPCAB Accredited Level 5) Cost: ONLINE & FACE FACE – £2,250 th from a BioPsychoSocial perspective Friday 19 MarchTO 2021 The Diploma in Sex Addiction Counselling has been developed to provide counsellors, psychotherapists, sex therapists th Friday/Saturday 19th/20 February 2021 perspective. Working with Couples Masterclass and addiction specialists with the tools to*assess and treat sex and porn addiction from a BioPsychoSocial th th Using the Baucom 3 Stage Model Monday/Tuesday The dates for the next cohort, which will be delivered face to face and online are: 12 /13 April 2021
Mod 1, part a – 5th/6th, part b – 14th/15th Sep 2022 Accredited Diploma Dates Please email us for a course prospectus. Mod 2, part a – 7th/8th, part b – 16th/17th Nov 2022 Diploma in Sex Addiction Mod 3, part a – 16th/17th, part bCounselling – 25th/26th Jan 2023 Module 1a 8th to 9th February 2021 th th (CPCAB Accredited level 5) Module Spa 1b 17 to 18students We will deliver Mod 1 part a) and Mod 3 part a) face to face in Leamington so that have a chance to meet 3 x 4other day modules provideStudents all the toolswill to assess work with th Module 2a 19 totravel 20th and accommodation. each in person. haveand to make arrangements for their own sex and porn addiction from a BioPsychoSocial perspective April 2021 We ask students to ensure that they are able to get refunded for any and Module 2b travel 28th to 29thaccommodation costs Module 1 Introduction to Working with Sex Addiction if for any reason we are not able to run the Module 3a course. 7th to 8th Module 2 Working with Complex Cases and Partners June 2021 Module 3b 16th to 17th Module 3 Advanced Skills for Working with Sex Addiction Enquiries: https://thelaurelcentre.co.uk/courses/diploma-in-sex-addiction-counselling-cpcab-accredited-level-5. *Online CPD events are strictly limited to a maximum of 12 attendees to ensure time for questions and discussion.
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The Office for Health Improvement and Disparities has published Statistics on alcohol and drug misuse treatment for adults from the National Drug Treatment Monitoring System. 3,726 (1.4%) of adults in 'treatment' died while in contact with 'treatment' services 2020-2021. This is a 27% rise compared to last year: 2,929, or 1.1% of all adults in 'treatment'.
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Calls grow for investment in treatment "Alcohol is now the leading cause of death, ill-health and disability for those aged between 15-49. Every day 70 people die due to alcohol and about 40% of crime is linked to alcohol. All of this comes at a substantial economic cost of at least £27billion every year," Dan Carden MP warned. "In 2020, ONS data showed that alcohol-specific deaths were at their highest since records began. Whilst the harm and cost inflicted by alcohol has been rising year on year, the last UK government alcohol strategy was published back in 2012. "Shockingly, only one in five alcohol dependent people are receiving treatment. Addiction is an illness and people suffering deserve properly funded treatment – the same as any other medical condition." See also: Local Government Association comment and Sheffield University research on disinvestment in treatment.
Obama’s ex-aide lashes out at Nicola Sturgeon’s drug mayhem Former President Barack Obama’s aide, Professor Keith Humphreys, hit at plans for Scotland to decriminalise drugs: “Governments have to be careful that they don’t unintentionally present themselves as safe havens for drug trafficking,” he warned. His comments came as NHS England's first clinic for treating psychosis caused by cannabis was overwhelmed by demand. Dr Marta Di Forti, part the King’s College London team which oversees the clinic, said patients realised the link too late.
Signs of the times... PARLIAMENT ALCOHOL HARM DEBATE: BRIEFING NOTES, VIDEO AND TRANSCRIPT
MPs Dan Carden and Derek Thomas initiated a November debate on alcohol harm. Watch the debate televised by UK Parliament and access the 29-page research briefing. Click heading for transcript. A video is also available of the November meeting of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Alcohol Harm.
DRUG-RELATED HOSPITAL STATISTICS FOR SCOTLAND
Public Health Scotland revealed hospital activity relating to illicit drug use 1996/97-2020/21, covering number of hospital stays, characteristics of patients, substances used and geography. In 2020/21, there were 14,310 such stays.
CALLS FOR SUPPORT FOR UK MIDWIVES STRUGGLING WITH SUBSTANCE ABUSE
The Royal College of Midwives is calling for members to be given the same support as doctors with drug and alcohol problems. Coventry University pioneering research found that 28% had problems.
SCOTS OPPOSE ‘WARNINGS’ FOR COCAINE
Most Scots oppose a new justice policy that allows people caught with Class A drugs including cocaine to escape with a police warning instead of prosecution, a Sunday Times poll found. Authorities are out of step with voters.
For more information visit
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November 2021
Drug overdose deaths top 100,000 for first time
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100,306 people died in 12 months from fatal drug overdoses for the first time in US history – a rise of 28.5% on 2019/20, the CDC revealed. More dangerous street drugs and pandemic disruptions to drug treatment are blamed. “We will turn the tide,” President Biden promised. Read media reactions.
Overdose deaths data: government talks
Why the US is losing against addiction
Dr Rahul Gupta, director of the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy, hosted a press call with secretary of Health and Human Services Xavier Becerra and other Administration officials to discuss actions and funding to address the overdose epidemic.
“What we’re really talking about is people feeling so withdrawn from life, from society, and socialising in general that they’re using a powerful sedative drug in isolation, aware they could die. This is an extremely profound point,” Bradley Blankenship writes.
Recruiting mental-health counsellors to treat addiction Recent findings by Pew Charitable Trusts suggest that licensed counsellors are an untapped resource for taking care of those who are at risk for substance use disorders. Since millions of people with SUDs already receive treatment for unrelated mental health issues, counsellors are well positioned to screen their patients and either treat people with mild and moderate substance misuse to prevent them from developing an addiction or refer those with severe disorders to specialised treatment settings. It recommends three key steps to implement this.
Signs of the times... FREE WEBINAR: THE INTERSECTION OF TRAUMA, ADDICTION AND MENTAL HEALTH
Unresolved trauma and unaddressed mental health issues can undermine a patient’s progress in addiction treatment and recovery. The Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation will host a webinar on 8 December to help understand.
YOUTH WITH MENTAL ILLNESS, SUBSTANCE-MISUSE HISTORIES, RISK OPIOID MISUSE
Unsurprisingly, Pennsylvania State University found that young people with certain mental health conditions and histories of substance misuse could have a raised risk of being diagnosed with an opioid use disorder.
OHIO JURY: PRECEDENT-SETTING OPIOID SUIT
A jury in Ohio ruled that three major pharmaceutical chains – CVS, Walmart and Walgreens – bore responsibility for the opioid epidemic in two Ohio counties. The civil case, brought in federal court, marks the first time pharmacies were found responsible in the US epidemic. Will Big Pot law suits follow suit in the future?
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EMCDDA webinar: drug deaths in Europe
Your life wants you back. We help rebuild lives and families effected by alcohol/drug addiction.
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High-risk substance use and polydrug use continue to fuel drug-induced deaths in Europe. This European Monitoring Centre on Drugs & Drug Addiction webinar on 8 December links to its recent miniguides which focus on responding to drug-related harms. The webinar aims to provide an insight into drug-related deaths across Europe and responses to them.
UNODC synthetic In brief... drug strategy 2021-2025 ONLY 5.2% OF PEOPLE WITH ALCOHOL USE The UNODC Synthetic Drug Strategy presents a framework for action to address the dynamic nature of synthetic drug markets which necessitates nimble and adaptable solutions. It consists of four spheres of action to address this global problem, as below:  Multilateralism and international cooperation  Early warning on emerging synthetic drug threats – preventing crises before they happen  Promote science-informed health responses: “Science for health” and  Strengthen counternarcotic capacity and support international operations to disrupt trafficking in synthetic drugs.
Parental addiction: children go into care Ireland’s Child Care Law Reporting Project, Ripe for reform, recommends urgent interventions and the establishment of a family court, noting that “parental addiction is the core reason for a significant proportion of children coming into and remaining in care” and at heightened risk of sexual exploitation.
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James Roberts and his partner Tony founded dryHolidays to assist addicts and their loved ones. His
own recovery inspired him to build an alcoholfree B&B, CasaSalvia, in Spain.
DISORDER GET "HELPFUL" TREATMENT
Using survey data from the World Health Organization in 24 countries, Australia’s National Drug and Alcohol Research Centre found that, of 9,378 people with lifetime alcohol use disorder, 11.8% obtained treatment for it. Of these, 44% reported treatment as helpful.
BINGE EATING & PSYCHOSTIMULANT ADDICTION
Spain’s University of Zaragoza and Universitat de Valencia recommend studies to focus on specific treatments and interventions in patients with a special vulnerability to shift from one addiction to the other.
AUSTRALIA: ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION ROSE IN 2021 “The Covid-19 pandemic led to a turnaround in the long-term trend of declining alcohol consumption over the last 15 years,” said research firm Roy Morgan, which interviewed 50,000 Australians about their drinking habits October 2020-September 2021.
MENTAL HEALTH: PREDICTOR OF SMOKING, VAPING
ASHES reviewed a study by New Zealand’s University of Canterbury on the link between a history of mental illness and smoking/vaping among college students. It found that 64.9% of participants with a history of mental illness smoked or vaped at least once.
ADDICTION TREATMENT IN INDIA
In the first of a Society for the Study of Addiction two-part interview with Professor Richard Velleman, he discusses his work in addiction treatment services and research in India. He explains how addiction, or de-addiction, services are run.
FIRST MAN CHARGED OVER NICOTINE VAPE SALES New South Wales police seized over 1,230 prohibited vapes containing nicotine, in Australia's first such case.
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Survive Christmas and new year Although it is a christian festival, Christmas has a huge impact on all our society. Even people who do not usually drink to excess find themselves going beyond their normal limits at this time. People in early recovery are very vulnerable, as they learn to handle new emotions and are reminded of their last pre-recovery christmas, usually of damaged relationships and loss. Many people trying to recover from alcohol or drug dependency dread Christmas. They tend to have bad memories – good memories come as they build up in recovery. They remember tension, binges and rows between relatives and unrealistic expectations which brought huge letdowns. As addicts, they often rejected family celebrations or caused havoc. They abused substances to block the sadness and longings generated by “christmas”. Overdoses, suicides and violence dominate memories. Mothers carry overwhelming guilt. At Christmas, pain comes as recovering people are overwhelmingly surrounded by images of ideal, happy families painfully reminding most addicts of all they lost or never had. The gap between the media images and their own lives is never wider or clearer. This is particularly so when family systems have yet to heal, where there is unresolved grief issues or when family members are still in active addiction. It is often hard to “fit back in” to a family system or accept that families are too unsafe to be near, or friends don't understand. This is a two-phase trap: many who survive christmas without relapsing get complacent and, almost unthinkingly, relapse in January or early February.
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So what can we do to help avoid relapses? Perhaps the first rule is to lay down a strong foundation this year which will not only help people to maintain sobriety but will also give happy memories on which to feel more confident about future festivities. Counsellors and clients should start meeting in November and talk about fears, past excellence, family expectations and traditions. They should share both good and bad memories and explore reasons people feel the way they do. If this discussion takes place early enough, it gives time to deal with feelings and plan a happier approach. It can also expose hidden feelings and thus take pressure off unvoiced anxieties. Make a six-week plan of preparation of food – and activities if wanted – and break the whole thing into manageable bits; if in a group setting, involve everyone. Everyone makes something week by week, so they can build up gradual, but pleasant, anticipation. Stress is kept to a minimum, and achievement satisfied as unusual treats are prepared. It is a sharing time. Christmas itself should be kept informal and low-key, with emphasis on enjoying other people’s company with good things to enjoy together. Minimise the commercial side. Clients should be left with memories of feeling at ease and even happiness, DB to provide a good building block. Top tips fromValerie Kading, CEO of Sierra Tucson The holidays can impose temptations and challenges for people in recovery,
Christmas
Christmas – and then the new year when complacency sets in after surviving Christmas – are the riskiest times of the calendar for relapse. We ask experts how to survive and even thrive.
especially for those with co-occurring disorders, such as depression, anxiety, grief, trauma and codependency, any of which can be heightened by the festivities that surround them. “Holiday blues” are more accurately described as situational depression. They can be significantly reduced with these five prevention tips: 1. Face depression and addiction realities together as a family. Be mindful of those facing the struggles of addiction and depression and the emotions they battle. These times can present anxiety and tension. Whether drug, alcohol, food or other addiction, expect that recovering individuals will need extra support with their unique struggles. Showing love, care and concern during this intense time could positively enhance the new year. 2. Avoid emotional drains . Choosing more positive friends, a positive environment, and uplifting activities can reduce depression. It is also important to remember to: avoid alcohol, avoid sugar binges and avoid holding grudges – clearing emotional space will make for a more pleasant time with family members. 3. Replace addictions with healthy habits. As well as avoiding energy drainers, recognise weaknesses and replace them with positive activities. The holidays are a great time to start new traditions with our loved ones. Try yoga or a new hobby or volunteer to help other people who are less fortunate. 4. Reframe the past. It can be tempting to slip into morbid reflection of lost loved ones. Instead, honour them by lighting candles to remember them at festivities. Retelling a funny story about them, or playing their favourite song, is a way to include them in a positive way.
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5. Stay off social media. Take a holiday hiatus from social media! When on Facebook, Instagram, etc, it is easy to begin comparing our lives to others which only feeds our depression and ultimately creates a slip into old coping mechanisms. This is a subtle form of self-harm, known in some circles as cyber-cutting. Take good care of yourself and make good choices to set yourself up for joy and success in the coming year. Tips from Daniel Gerard and Claire Havey of UKAT Christmas has been dubbed “the most wonderful time of the year” – but for newcomers in recovery from addiction, it can be very difficult. Temptation is everywhere. If you haven’t yet sought help for your addiction, you might find yourself using Christmas as a reason to push your addiction to its limit. If you’re in recovery, Christmas is a time when what you learned in treatment starts to pay off. Whatever stage you’re personally at, remember that Christmas comes just once a year, but recovery is for life. Try to remember the following five ways to stay on track and give yourself the gift of sobriety: 7 Recognise your triggers, be they stress, fear, frustration, anxiety, depression or environmental triggers like people and places – and take each day of the festive season one day at a time 7 Research festive activities that are enjoyable to participate in, without having to consume drink or drugs and encourage those around you to do the same
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Don’t strive for perfection, it won’t happen. Relax, go with the flow. Keep it in the day. Find some 'me time' if you need to recharge. Prepare a getaway plan and contact numbers.
7 Socialise with others who are in recoverymake sure you’re attending your local recovery fellowship meetings. Groups like Alcoholics Anonymous offer meetings every day, including Christmas Day. Not only will they offer you the support you might need at this time of year, but they’ll be filled with sober festive fun! 7 Plan ahead. If there are festive occasions which you feel like you have to attend, make sure that you are well prepared for them. Take your own tasty non-alcoholic drink of choice, and always remember that you don’t need to shy away from being honest 7 Keep in close contact with people who are in recovery, speak to them daily if you need to. Having people in the same position as you on speed-dial will you during the festive period. Tips from Alex Denstman and Erin Knight of Ashley rehab Now that we are sober, it is important to be present for our friends and family – but this should not come at the expense of our sobriety. The following are 10 tips for an enjoyable and sober holiday season... 1 Have a plan B. Create a “back out” plan so you can leave a party or gathering immediately. Bring a list of five people you can call who can either come pick you up or talk to you… better yet, bring one of them with you! Safety in numbers. 2 It’s ok to say no. If you feel like you are not in the right state of mind or not ready to be in a situation where alcohol will be present, go with that feeling. Now that you are sober and have connected with your gut instincts again, check in with yourself and your sponsor often.
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3 Look up meetings and alca-thons in the area. It’s a good idea to ramp up meeting attendance around stressful times. Check the local meeting directory, plan your schedule around meetings. 4 The next day, check in with yourself. Triggers can be delayed. Talk to someone the next day about how you’re doing post-event. 5 Increase self-care during the holidays. Schedule time to exercise and meal prep to balance out all the holiday treats. 6 Keep a drink in your hand. This will prevent people from making or offering you a drink. 7 Volunteer. Do something nice for someone else. Being of service to other people is vital to maintain gratitude and humility in recovery, especially during the holidays. 8 Avoid emotional conversations. People are generally more stressed out at this time of year. Save your life changing or bad news for after the holiday. Also steer clear of anyone trying to entice an argument or heated discussion with you. Christmas dinner is not the best place to discuss politics or relive past arguments. 9 Remember HALT. Avoid becoming hungry, angry, lonely or tired. All of those could compromise your state of mind and make you more susceptible to picking up a drink or a drug. 10 Live in the moment. Take in the sights and smells of the holidays and remember to appreciate everything you have and can now be a participant of. For years or even decades we sat on the sidelines of life. Now we can make choices to spend time with the people who love us – or make other life-enhancing choices. Choose what makes you feel at peace, what makes you feel empowered.
More top tips to survive Christmas.
7 Don’t get into debt – people really don’t need expensive gifts from you. Set yourself a sensible budget or simply explain that your financial situation this year means that you won’t be buying gifts. No-one minds. 7 Perspective – Christmas is only one day in reality even though often the lead up to it makes it feel longer. It’s simply another 24 hours. Keep it in the day. Do not give it more power than that. 7 Have a plan – make a list of what you want to get done in preparation for Christmas but also have a plan for what you need to do if you find yourself struggling. This can include contact details of sober friends you can call for support. 7 Immerse yourself in recovery literature, podcasts, etc ahead of Christmas – read sobriety. 7 Don’t over-inflate your expectations – it’s so easy to romanticise a perfect Christmas where everyone gets along, the food is perfect, everyone loves their gifts etc but the reality is often very different. Don’t strive for perfection, it won’t happen. Relax, go with the flow. Expectations are resentments in the making. 7 Have some quiet time – spending time with family at Christmas can be overwhelming even if it is enjoyable. Find some 'me time' if you need to recharge. 7 Choose your battles carefully – family gatherings can be difficult. Set yourself some boundaries in order to avoid conflict. If you find particular people draining emotionally, find a place for some quiet time in order to recharge your energy. Keep to your daily routines. 7 Talk to someone prior to Christmas Day – ask them to help you rehearse and revise your coping mechanisms.
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7 What did you learn from past Christmases? What worked and what didn’t? What were your triggers? Be prepared. 7 Take the year off? – Christmas isn’t compulsory. It can be overwhelming. Be honest. You have options. Stay in bed all day if that is your choice. Or volunteer somewhere. 7 Go to a recovery meeting – in person or online. 7 Plan a treat for after Christmas – plan ahead and have something lovely to look forward to. 7 Debrief with a trusted friend – talk honestly about your experience of Christmas, the good, the bad and the ugly. Use acupressure to help conquer cravings.  Formulate a clear target for treatment – eg, fighting the phrase “I’m dying for a drink”  Rate the level of craving or emotional distress on a scale of 0 to 10  Tap with one hand on the outside edge of the other while stating the problem as an affirmation three times – for example, “even though I’m dying for a drink/drug, I deeply and completely accept myself”  Tap 5-10 times with two fingers on the following sequence of points, while repeating the reminder phrase “dying for a drink”: a) just beneath the collarbone about an inch from the central notch b) under the centre of one eye on the socket edge c) about four inches directly below the armpit d) collarbone again  Rate the distress again; repeat treatment until the rating drops to 0.
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Is it time for new traditions?
About the author Sandy Swenson is the mother of two sons, one of whom struggles with addiction. She first documented her experiences in the criticallyacclaimed book The Joey Song: A Mother’s Story of Her Son’s Addiction, followed by Tending Dandelions: Honest Meditations for Mothers With Addicted Children [Hazelden 2017] and Readings for Moms of Addicts [Hazelden 2018]. Her latest book is Just Dandy: Living with Heartache and Wishes [Hazelden 2020 and her latest project is MomPower.org.
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16 November 2021
Most of us have cherished holiday memories from when our children were younger. But things quickly changed when addiction joined the family, and those precious memories now feel like they happened in another lifetime. When a child becomes addicted, everything changes. Few moments are safe from worry and fear, and we parents would trade anything in the world for the happiness and safety of our child. The holidays might look completely different now. The laughter and smiles have been replaced with the tokens of addiction: an empty place at the dinner table or unspoken feelings of disappointment, anger and fear. If our child has been addicted for some time, we perhaps haven't had a "normal" holiday in years. Our child might have long stopped pretending to make plans to come home for any holidays. And no matter how long our child has been addicted to alcohol or other drugs, the pain always lingers, as does the hole in our home where our child should be. Tip 1: Let go of expectations, feel your feelings. We try so carefully to manufacture the pictureperfect day or to recreate those memories from when our children were younger. And in our attempts to make the day perfect, we set ourselves up for failure. Our child is addicted, and we can't change or control that. What they elect to do – if they decide to be present or not, to be sober or not – is outside of our control. It's disappointing. It's painful, it's maddening, it's sad. And it's okay to feel those ways, even and especially around the
holidays. The day doesn't have to be perfect. But when we make space for those feelings, we also make space for better things to come. I plan ahead. I take time to face my feelings. I take the time to grieve and cry for what was and what isn't. Then, acknowledging the pitfalls I don't want to fall into, I figure out ways to make the holiday work. And one of those ways is to ask for help: from friends, family, a therapist or counsellor or any of the hundreds of support groups and meetings, like Al-Anon, Families Anonymous or The Addict's Mom. Tip 2: Appreciate the family members who are here. When our child is confronting addiction, it's natural to give them all our attention, whether they show up or not. We abandon those who are present. When we try to control our child, and thus addiction, we are attempting the impossible. We can set stronger boundaries about our child's alcohol or drug use in our home, but we cannot guarantee that they will stay sober. We cannot guarantee that this day will end perfectly. But we can control who and what we pay attention to. Let's make a plan to notice and appreciate the family members who show up and try to have a happy holiday. We can also involve family members and other adults in our plans to have a better day. Together we can prepare and adapt. Tip 3: Start your own traditions. Now that addiction is a part of the holidays, it's time to try some new traditions that protect our mental health and restore us. Old
Christmas
How can we enjoy the holidays when our child is addicted and can't stay sober from alcohol and other drugs? Sandy Swenson shares five tips for parents to get through and even enjoy this time.
family traditions aren't mandatory. Instead of cooking the perfect dinner or designing the most picturesque holiday home, we can put our energy into the activities that make us happy. When the holidays hurt, it's time to try something different, something smaller or bigger, or somewhere new. The meal, the menu, an old family recipe, the way or the place that we've always celebrated the holidays. Maybe it's an entire day spent watching our favorite movies. Maybe it's getting takeout from our favourite restaurant. Maybe it's even simpler. We can't control our addicted child. But we can control our priorities, and taking care of ourselves should be at the very top. Tip 4: Be intentional about gratitude. Who is at the table is more important than what is on the table or where the table is. What are the holidays really about? Most centre around gratitude: noticing and appreciating the people and things that make our lives better. Before we start, we might feel as though we have little to be grateful for when addiction has struck our family so hard. But we will feel differently once we get the ball rolling. Helping others keeps me moving forward. It can be overwhelming to add one more expectation to a day already laden with so much, but giving thanks by showing thanks doesn't have to fall on one particular day. I've got 364 other days of the year in which to do what my heart needs to do." Tip 5: Let healing happen – hope will come. I'm finally strong enough to fill the hole in my life where my son should be with things that
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make the holidays better, not worse. I'm strong enough to face reality – to accept what is – to start new traditions, and to spend time with some happy old memories; those are mine to keep and enjoy forever. There is still plenty to be thankful for and to hope for. We are working a recovery programme of our own, slowly separating our happiness and welfare from our child's sobriety. We are finding ways to move forward and protect ourselves. Our child is addicted, but their story isn't finished yet. Recovery is available to everyone who wants it. If and when they decide to get sober, if and when they agree to addiction treatment, we will support and encourage them every step of the way. Over time and regardless of outcomes, we will learn how to feel safe and happy again. We will always hope that our child finds recovery, but we will always have our own recovery to fall back on. We will get to a place where addiction doesn't control us, and we will slowly continue to heal. One final note to parents. If you have a child who's addicted to alcohol or other drugs, please start a recovery of your own. Their substance use and addiction affects you, but you can protect your own mental health and happiness. Maybe your child will find recovery. Maybe your child will continue drinking or using drugs. Whatever happens, you need to find support. This journey is a marathon, not a sprint, and, to find hope and healing, you need a reliable safe space to communicate your needs to others. Support meetings like Al-Anon or NarAnon can be a tremendous help to parents.
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Christmas
Gift ideas for people in recovery
It's the thought that counts. Christmas is a time of gifts and showing that you care – we save you time and effort by searching the internet to find thoughtful and fun gifts celebrating recovery.
Addiction recovery affirmation cards set, from Unbroken Mama. Selling fast at £18.52. Recent research shows that the words we speak can help reprogramme our subconscious mind.
Sobriety keyring by Emma Fleet: £11.49. The 25mm keychain holds an aluminium disc 28mm in diameter which can be customised. One tag is 50x10mm, the other 30x10mm, etched with your chosen date..
"I love sober you, One day at a time" addiction recovery black chronograph watch from Divine Gifts Designs: £58.73. Special date can be added. The watch is water-resistant and scratch-proof.
"It's a beautiful day to be sober" pendant and chain from Bella Aniela: £6.50. The 20mm diameter pendant is a metal zinc alloy, nickel and lead free; silver plated. It hangs on a silver plated chain.
Sober warrior top from All Good Vibes Designs, available in nine colours and sizes from men's S-XL: £22-£26. It is preshrunk and made with air-jet spun yarn for reduced pilling. 50% cotton, 50% polyester.
Narcotics Anonymous wooden keyring from British Gold Company can be personalised with up to 40 characters and is available in silver or 24k gold plated: £17.95. The wooden area is 40mm diameter.
Addiction recovery mug from Quirky Gift Ideas: £9.89. Made of ceramic, it holds 11 fluid ounces. Microwave and dishwasher safe, the print will never fade, according to the seller.
One day at a time wallet insert in handcrafted aluminium with option to customise the back with a date and/or initials, from Cool Key Rings: £12.99. Eco-friendly, with free UK shipping.
Professional print on 230gsm premium paper (frame not supplied) by Little Heart Print Co in a choice of A5, A4 and A3, at £5, £7.99 or £12.99. Other motivational and spiritual prints are available from seller.
Treat yourself or a colleague or staff to two days of reconnecting with the addiction treatment and recovery field, filled with learning from worldclass experts. Refreshments and lunch are provided in this luxurious venue beside the iconic Tower Bridge and Tower of London, surrounded by the peaceful river and marina. All conference rooms and facilities are on one floor. Take advantage of 2021 discounts – don't miss out.
All prices include Vat, postage to be added.
18 November 2021
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Merry sober christmas cubanlink chain necklace from Joy's Custom Gifts is available in polished stainless steel or 14K yellow gold over stainless steel: £46.57. The length is 45.72cmx5mm (18" long).
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Recovery Plus
Manage seasonal depression: SAD
About the author Harriet Bowyer is an HCPC registered clinical psychologist, working as a lecturer and researcher in psychology. She completed her DClinPsy at the University of Glasgow. She also holds an MSc in health psychology from King’s College London and a BSc in Psychology from the University of Sheffield. Before joining GCU, she trained and worked in NHS Scotland, mainly in child and adolescent mental health services.
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With a cknowledgment to The Conversation.
20 November 2021
With the weather getting colder and the days becoming shorter, some people are noticing they have less energy and aren’t feeling as positive as they usually do. While these feelings might be temporary for some, about one in three people consistently struggle through the autumn and winter months with a type of depression known as seasonal affective disorder or SAD. Symptoms of SAD can vary from mild to severe, but typically include: L Low mood L Loss of interest or pleasure in things you previously enjoyed L Change in appetite (usually eating more than usual) L Change in sleep (typically too much sleep) L Feeling worthless. Researchers aren’t yet clear on what causes SAD, but it’s likely to be complex and multifaceted.
– though, due to a lack of specific research, it is uncertain whether these gender differences really exist and if so, why. Getting through it. Some people notice that their symptoms start to improve when the seasons begin to change and spring approaches. But this doesn’t mean that there aren’t many things people can do during the winter months to help them cope with their symptoms. For people with SAD, the main recommended treatments include psychological interventions (such as talking therapies) or taking medication [such as an antidepressant – but try alternatives as antidepressants can be addictive]. Research shows that cognitive behavioural therapy (which focuses on challenging our distressing thoughts and changing our behaviour) is an effective treatment for SAD.
Some research suggests it could be due to a malfunctioning hypothalamus (the area of the brain that regulates biological processes such as mood, sleep and appetite) or producing too much melatonin (a hormone which controls our sleep-wake cycle, which is produced by the brain’s pineal gland). Some researchers theorise it could also be due to having a disrupted circadian rhythm – the natural, internal process that regulates our sleep-wake cycle.
In one study, researchers showed that cognitive behavioural therapy was associated with significantly lower depression when followed up one year later when compared to light therapy. Light treatment, sometimes used for SAD, involves sitting in front of or below a box which emits a very bright light, for about 20-30 minutes or more daily. "Some people with SAD find that light therapy can help improve their mood considerably. Sunrise alarm clocks might also be useful for some people," the NHS advises.
Of course, there could be other factors at play too. For example, some research has indicated that women are more likely to experience SAD
A key part of CBT is supporting patients in a technique called behavioural activation, which aims to improve mood by encouraging
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In winter months, seasonal affective disorder depresses many people in recovery and could worsen relapse triggers. Harriet Bowyer explains why it happens and how to manage symptoms.
people to structure their day and engage in meaningful pleasurable activities such as a hobby. Research also indicates that certain antidepressants (specifically SSRIs) might be effective in treating symptoms of SAD. Light therapy is also being investigated as a treatment for SAD. Given that it is still an emerging therapy, research regarding its effectiveness as a standalone treatment for SAD remains inconsistent. Light therapy is not usually available on the NHS so, if you do want to try it, be sure to choose only a product that is medically approved for the treatment of SAD – and follow the instructions for use or consult your GP. Using natural daylight. Aside from seeking professional help, there are a couple of other things that people can do to help them cope with SAD during their day. Going outside and getting some natural daylight is one thing that people experiencing SAD can do for themselves. According to one study, getting more natural light during the day might help improve symptoms. The researchers of the study had participants either go for a daily onehour outdoor walk, or use a low-dose artificial light box for 30 minutes per day for a period of one week. The participants who went for a daily walk showed significant improvements in all depressive symptoms, compared to those exposed to artificial light. While it’s uncertain exactly why daylight can improve symptoms, this remains an easy and effective thing that people
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can do to improve their mood each day. The NHS recommends something as simple as sitting near windows to help alleviate symptoms. Research also shows that lifestyle factors – such as exercise levels and diet – can play an important role in both causing and managing depression. When it comes to SAD in particular, there’s some evidence to suggest that exercising, be it on its own or in combination with light therapy, might improve symptoms. Again, it’s still unclear why this is the case. But research has indicated that it could be related to changes in our circadian rhythm. A review which looked at the impact of exercise on depression has pointed to both the psychological (such as exercise providing distraction from negative thoughts and a means to socialise) and physiological (such as changes in endorphin or cortisol levels) benefits. While there are many things people can do to manage symptoms of SAD throughout the winter months, it’s important to consult your GP about symptoms and feelings – especially if symptoms don’t improve, or if the condition becomes difficult to manage. More information. If you are struggling or feel you could benefit from mental health support, speak to your GP, and/or try contacting supportive organisations – as well as your usual mutual-aid meetings – such as The Seasonal Affective Disorders Association, The Samaritans or Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM).
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Watch and listen These videos can guide you through managing stress to combating loneliness at Christmas. With family-oriented events such as Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up, crisis coach Scott Silverman describes in an 8.26-minute interview ways to manage stress and addiction.
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Dr Lisa Coyne of McLean Hospital helps us push back against feelings of loneliness, which can come to the fore during holidays. And Dr Susan Noonan advises us to beware the "should do" list.
22 November 2021
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Recovery Plus
Advice for family members We cannot change other people, but we can change how we respond to them and their behaviour. We need to look after ourselves this Christmas and over the holidays. Setting boundaries and sticking to them is a great place to start.
We all face a period of uncertainty this Christmas with restrictions to navigate, Covid cases and the fears of what the New Year might bring. For many of us this is challenging, but for families tip-toeing around addiction, Christmas 2021 could be a pressure cooker moment.
Even under normal circumstance, living with addiction can be a stressful, confusing experience, where the abnormal becomes normal and everyone loses sight of what healthy behaviour looks like. Partners and children can tiptoe around someone in active addiction, trying not to rock the boat. Families begin living a double life, attempting to manage the unpredictable behaviour of the addicted individual while hiding the problem from friends and relatives
For many families, increased levels of harmful drinking this year will change their usual dynamic. For the first time, families may come face to face with a loved one who has unwittingly developed a dependency, is openly drinking or using drugs or, on the flip side hiding their true consumption levels; being secretive, manipulative and behaving differently as a result.
A ‘normal’ Christmas alone is likely to put these relationships under even more pressure. During any December in the UK, alcohol consumption tends to rise. This year, December is even more different, the mid-winter even bleaker.
This article is written to help people better understand what might be happening at home, how to look after yourself and the people around you, and offer steps you might take in 2022. If you recognise the pattern of behaviour in this article, our pages of helpful professional and mutual-aid contacts can offer routes to getting support and help. Addiction can
We need to look after ourselves this Christmas and over the holidays. Setting boundaries and sticking to them is a great place to start. Clouds House shares its guidance.
sometimes lead to a life-threatening emergency, if you are experiencing this, or you do not feel safe, contact the emergency services. The problem of addiction dependence is often denied, not only by those addicted, but by their loved ones too. It’s a condition that is difficult to understand or put right; it creates havoc and destroys lives; families experience stigma and a vicious circle of shame and guilt. Addiction is paradoxical – attempts to help can exacerbate it. For instance, if you help someone cover up the aftermath of a drinking bout, the unspoken message is that someone else will always clear up and they won’t have to deal with the consequences of their actions Having coping strategies is crucial for our ability to deal with living with someone who is addicted to, or significantly increased their consumption of alcohol or drugs. The more we can identify what’s helpful and what’s not helpful, what works and what doesn’t work, the more resilient we will become in the long term. In these troubled times, it’s more important than ever that we look after ourselves. Stress and worry can stop us from functioning.
Coping strategies give us the opportunity to take responsibility in difficult situations by either: 7 changing the nature of the situation being experienced, such as taking ‘time out’ or 7 changing the way we deal with the situation, for example by setting a boundary. Boundaries. Boundaries are limits, dividing lines between different territories. They are the limits we set in relationships to protect ourselves from being overwhelmed or manipulated by others (and protect others from us). They make it possible for us to separate our thoughts and feelings from the addicted partner or relative, and to take responsibility for what we do. We can’t change other people but we can change how we respond. Think of a tennis court – we have control of our side of the court, right up to the net, but we can’t jump over the net (the boundary) and control what happens on the other side. Healthy boundaries allow us to get close to others when it is appropriate, and to maintain our distance when it might be harmful to get too close. Good boundaries can also help us respect other people’s boundaries, including emotional ones.
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With the holiday season set against the backdrop of a potential fourth wave of the pandemic, Tier 4 restrictions and last minute cancellation of most gatherings, people will once again experience more stress, more isolation and an increase in drinking to harmful levels for many adults.
For families new to addiction, or who have been living with its damaging consequences for years, getting advice and support is essential.
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When setting firm boundaries, you have to let go of the outcome and be clear about what you need and what the consequences will be if the other person continues unacceptable behaviour.
In relationships, emotional boundaries allow us to:
7 Maintain a clear, stronger sense of our own
identity/feelings/needs 7 Protect our space physically and emotionally 7 Stop being taken advantage of 7 Clarify what is acceptable and what is not. Some boundaries need to be rigid - because: 7 No-one deserves abusive treatment 7 No-one deserves to be betrayed or lied to 7 We all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Other boundaries might change with different situations and can be flexible as well as healthy, for instance boundaries vary between loved ones, friends and strangers.
26 November 2021
If you believe that a loved one has an addiction and you want to discuss this with them, there are a number of practical things you can do. When and how to talk to someone with substance misuse problem. If you decide to talk to your family member, friend or partner about their drug or alcohol use, you will need to pick your moment. Find a time when the individual seems open to talking to you or is in a relatively quiet mood. Try not to blame or criticise – instead talk about your concerns in a reasonable manner. Tell your loved one how you feel about their behaviour. For instance, ‘When you have been drinking/taking drugs, I feel upset/worried/ frightened’. By saying ‘I feel’ rather than phrases like ‘You make me angry!’ the person with a
Although your loved one might appear to resist your suggestions, in private they could be thinking about what you said, especially if you spoke in a rational and concerned manner.
substance misuse problem is less likely to react defensively and is more likely to listen to you. Tell your loved one that you are concerned about them and that you are willing to help them find professional help. Be prepared for your family member not to listen to you at first. If your attempt fails, drop the subject for a while. If the conversation escalates into an argument, then the addicted person is likely to further escape into drug and alcohol use. It might be difficult for you to walk away when you feel angry and upset, but the situation demands patience on your part. Try again when the atmosphere is calmer. Although your loved one might appear to resist your suggestions, in private they could well be thinking about what you said, especially if you spoke in a rational and concerned manner. Give them time to reflect on your words. When someone who is using drugs or alcohol problematically behaves inappropriately and causes upset and worry, it is not acceptable. However, it is important that you don’t take their behaviour personally. The individual concerned is not deliberately trying to upset or disappoint you – instead you are dealing with
someone who has lost control of their using or drinking and consequently their behaviour. You can also help yourself by learning everything you can about addiction, and by talking to people who understand what you’re going through. Please remember at all times to keep yourself safe physically and emotionally Useful resources. L Al-Anon Family Groups, which includes Alateen for teenagers, provide support to anyone affected by someone’s problem drinking. L Families Anonymous is for relatives and friends of people with drug problems. L Get a comprehensive list of professional treatment and mutual-aid groups, including the above, on pages 32-37 of this issue. L Action on Addiction provides family support at all its treatment centres to family members who are receiving treatment. Its Moving Parents and Children Together programme (M-PACT), is delivered under licence, across the UK, by practitioners who are trained by Action on Addiction’s experts. The programme provides a safe space for children and young people to talk about the impact of living with a family member who has an addiction.
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When setting firm boundaries, you have to let go of the outcome and be clear about what you need and what the consequences will be if the other person continues with unacceptable behaviour. You must be realistic and mean what you say to carry it through – there have to be consequences for actions. According to Al-Anon Family Groups, there are things you can do to help improve the well-being of the family and to look after children in an alcoholic environment: 1) Practice you own self-care. Being a good parent means looking after your own physical and mental health.
2) Maintain routines for children. Regular bedtimes ensure they get enough sleep – they’ll be less likely to be irritable the next day. 3) Plan alcohol free activities – children can learn that socialising need not include alcohol. 4) Listen, and talk to your children. Help them learn how to communicate difficult emotions, instead of hiding them
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28 November 2021
Christmas
Happy families? Devin Lincenberg adds to our relapse-prevention tips with backup plans for social gatherings.
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