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Through The Challenges of Life, Hold Your Head High

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STANDING BLESSED AND BEAUTIFUL HEAVEN CHANTAL HOLT

Copyright 2021 Heaven Chantal Holt

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Chapter 1

Blessed Beginnings Hello everyone, my name is Heaven Chantal Holt. At the time of writing this book, I am 29 years, and I was born on April the 23rd of 1992 in Baytown, Texas. I soon was moved to Katy, Texas where I lived with my Uncle Joseph and Aunt Vanessa. Up until that point, I spent most of my life in Katy and then we moved. I have been wanting to write a book for a while to share my experiences and encourage other people. I

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appreciate everyone who plays a role in my life. My Uncle Joseph and Aunt Vanessa have provided me with a place to stay since I was a little girl. My Uncle Joseph, my dad’s brother, is a pilot. My Aunt Vanessa is my uncle’s wife. I have a disability called spina bifida when the spine does not completely wrap around the spinal cord. The part of the nerves sticking out had to be connected to the brain. This was done in order for the brain to receive a message otherwise the brain wouldn’t receive any messages.

A picture of me as a baby.

I am around 2 years old in this picture.

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One revelation is we are all blessed. When God made Adam and Eve, He blessed them. We can recognize and look for God in other people.

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.” Genesis 1:27-28 The first thing God did after He made Adam and Eve is He blessed them. The next thing is God spoke to them, which is why God loves prayer and when we talk with Him. We can recognize the blessing in other people, even if they can’t see it. I think we could get to know each other better by taking time to talk, share, and spend time together. We can avoid making assumptions and judgements about a person by getting to know the person. It is my prayer that after

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reading this book, you get to know a little more about me. I look forward to learning more about you, too. One thing about me is I enjoy peace in life. I like watching funny and romantic movies. I don’t like scary movies. I like to write and listen to music, especially gospel, R&B, and pop. If I’m going through something, I listen to gospel. I also enjoy relaxing in the bed and watching television.

Here I am at the daycare.

Here I am at 5 years old.

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I have a lot of brothers and sisters with the same dad and different moms. I graduated from a high school called Cypress Lakes High School on June 3rd, 2011, which to be honest, it was the greatest experience ever, but at the same time, there were overwhelming moments. ‘Why?’ Well, I am glad that you asked because to be honest I didn’t think graduation was going to happen, but it did, and when it did happen, I couldn’t believe it. I thought I was dreaming but as time went by, I started realizing that it was real because buses stop coming and I wasn’t having anyone to wake me up everyday like I used to back when I was in school, and on top of that, not only was it an overwhelming experience, but it was also the worst experience. Now, I know that you’re probably wondering how was it an overwhelming experience and the worst experience at the same time? Well, I will get into more details about that later in this book.

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Here I am with my mom and my sisters.

Here is a picture of my dad.

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Chapter 2

No Turning Around Well now that I have introduced myself, let’s go ahead and get right into more about my life, what I went through, and how I got through it. A pivotal point in my life happened when I was about 1 1/2 years old while I was living with my mom and my dad was a truck driver who had his own business. One day while my dad was at work, my mom woke up

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one morning and decided to get up, get dressed, and walk out the room to go wake up my brothers and sisters. She told them to get up and get dressed and meet her in the car. So, my brothers and sisters got up, got dressed, and met my mom in the car. Remind you this was all happening on a day when it was flooding, and our house was one story. My mom got dressed and instead of her getting me, she decided to leave the house and left me in the house by myself, locked the door, and got on the road. She waited until she got on the freeway to where she couldn’t turn around and come back and get me. When she got too far on the road, she started asking my brothers and sisters was I in the backseat with them and they told her ‘No, Heaven is not back there’. My mom decided to do something stupid, which was she called the police on herself and told the police she had left me at the house by myself. Once she told the police what happened, they came and got me out of the house and took me to the hospital. Once I got to the hospital my Aunt Vanessa was already there waiting on me. Before my aunt could even sit down, the doctor asked her if she would like to take me home and my aunt said that she would have to ask my mom. My aunt asked my mom if she

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could and my mom responded back ‘yes, you can.’ This hurt me the most because I couldn’t believe that my mom allowed that to happen. What allowed me to get over it was seeing that my mom never came back for me although I was giving her chances to prove to me that she wouldn’t give up on me. I just couldn’t believe it before my eyes. Well enough about that, here is more about my life that you may not know about me. During my childhood, my aunt started to take me to a daycare, called Growing Years where I had a great relationship with my daycare teacher, Mrs. Kim and her daughter, Natalie. I have known them since I was a baby. As I got older, we got disconnected for years. I went up to the daycare during my sixth grade year and she wasn’t there. I thought our relationship was lost but God reconnected us in 2020. Me and my daycare teacher, Mrs. Kim

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I am in the middle with Mrs. Kim and her daughter, Natalie. I would see Mrs. Kim every day at the daycare, and we would keep our eyes on each other the whole time. Mrs. Kim still is a great person and a sweet person. Not only that but the bond we have is a bond that could never be broken at all, even if someone was to try to break it, it wouldn’t happen because I wouldn’t let it happen. Another thing I remember is I remember riding the daycare van with her during my elementary school year and jamming away on the way to school and back to the daycare which was fun because I enjoyed every minute of it. I will never forget those moments. I feel sometimes we get to a point when we go through things in life and realize there is no going back to the old way things used to be for different reasons. My mother may have felt my disability was

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too much for her and other people may have thought the same way. We may wonder why some things happen, but God said He will never leave us. I thank God for sending me earth angels to help me in life.

“But when Jesus perceived their thoughts, he answering said unto them, What reason ye in your hearts? Whether is easier, to say, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Rise up and walk? But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power upon earth to forgive sins, (he said unto the sick of the palsy,) I say unto thee, Arise, and take up thy couch, and go into thine house. And immediately he rose up before them, and took up that whereon he lay, and departed to his own house, glorifying God.” Luke 5:22-25

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Chapter 3

Through The Trials I have gone through many challenging times in my life. Along with my disability and being bi-racial, I have been picked on and called names by kids and adults. There was a teacher in middle school in seventh grade who yelled at me and slammed a book in my face and was dismissed from the school for doing that. Now back to why I said high school was one of the worst experiences in my life. When I

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attended Cypress Lakes High School, I faced many trials. I was called names, hit, picked on, and humiliated. I was called names, like crippled and handicapped. I was hit by a binder. A high school kid swung a binder and hit me in the neck with it, and then he physically tried to stop me from going to tell someone about it. I was eating lunch one day and there was a table of kids behind me who threw an apple and hit me. It was bad enough I was eating lunch alone because the kids wouldn’t sit with me. I ate lunch sometimes with adults, teachers, or assistants. There were not only kids teasing and bothering me, but there were some adults too. Through it all, I made it through high school, and I was so happy when I graduated.

High school graduation picture. June 3rd, 2011.

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Other trials were when I went through a lot of different surgeries in my life before even starting school, through high school, and work, which all of it came to be a total of 12 surgeries, 3 shunt revisions, 7 foot surgeries, 1 back surgery, and an eye surgery. I ended up having foot surgeries because I got ran over by a wheelchair and it knocked some of my feelings out of my foot. I took medicine and thankfully my foot was not taken away from me.

This is me after my eye surgery.

Let me tell you that I hate surgeries but let me just say that the way I got through it was God. Why? Because when I was little, I was told that I wasn’t going to be able to walk and let’s just say that I couldn’t believe a person who calls themselves a doctor would tell the family that a child with a disability will not be able to

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walk ever again. I can’t believe it, like I wouldn’t let any doctor do that to my kids at all. Would you know that the same doctor, who told my family that I wouldn’t be able to walk again, couldn’t believe that years later I was going to be able to prove him wrong? And guess what? I did because by the age of eight years old I was able to do everything for myself that any kid could do for themselves. Even when I thought my life would be over, but guess what, God had other plans. Let me say this through it all I hated being disabled because it gives me a lot of limitations as to what I can do which I hate, but God has given me the strength to get through it all.

“For with God nothing shall be impossible.” Luke 1:37

I’m with my brothers and sisters, even though there are 5 missing in this picture.

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I hold on to glimmers of light and hope in between the hard times in life. At the time of writing this book, both my parents have passed away. My father was at the age 65, when he was learning to walk again. He had suffered the effects from drug chemical poisons which crystallized in his body. During his last days, my father tried to cough all of it up, but his body still couldn’t fight anymore. The first time he was given CPR, he came back to life. The second time he wasn’t able to fight it. My mother battled with a drug addiction for years. When I face problems, I try to find peace in the presence of God. My aunts are there for me when I need help. I am thankful for my family and friends who are there for me when I need comfort and a shoulder to lean on. Through good and bad times, people help each other by being supportive and just by being there. While I was working in the mall, I met a lady whose name is Mrs. Pamela Miller. She was the coolest person I have met and still is until this day. Her friendship is a friendship that I cherish. I spiritually grow so much when I attend church services and listen to sermons. When I attended my

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grandmother’s church, I felt so much love and peace. Later on, I started going to the Kingdom of Grace church in Pearland Texas. Pastor Proctor gave the realest messages, whether I wanted to hear it or not. It’s like Pastor knew my lifestyle and he was keeping it 100. It was like he was reading my mind. It was the church I would never want to leave. If I had a ride, I would be right there at the Kingdom of Grace. The Pastor got so much potential out of me. I felt the Holy Spirit so real. It was such a great experience.

Kingdom of Grace Ministries

Here I am with my dear friend, Mrs. Pamela.

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Chapter 4

The Dating Experience Back when I was in middle school, I dated a boy who I thought was the one for me, but I didn’t know that he knew my family and that he was a troublemaker. Every time I called his aunt’s house for him, I would find out that he was in jail. When I found out throughout our relationship he had been going in and out of jail, I decided to put a stop to it because I didn’t want to be caught with him at all. I will say that before him I met a guy during my second-grade year, but the relationship didn’t last long. Why? Well, that is a great question because I don’t know why I just know that it didn’t last long.

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Then, I met a guy in 2014 during the time I was working at a movie theater called AMC First Colony and I will tell you I thought he was the one for me, but it turned out that he only wanted to be with me for my money, which I will tell you that I felt stupid because I really wasn’t paying attention to the red flags. After he decided to stop talking to me and then that’s when I realized that I had messed up but after that experience I realized never to be with anybody who only wants to be with you for your money because they will try to get over on you. I met other guys while working there who only wanted me for what was between my legs and what they didn’t know was I was paying attention and I was able to catch on to their game. In 2016 I moved to work at another movie theater which was in Katy Mills mall all the way until 2018. While I was working there I met a guy with the same disability as me. We started dating while working in the same mall together, but the only problem is that during our dating relationship he was cheating on me. His dad was also creating problems in our relationship and making racist comments towards me so I could not just stand it anymore. I wasn’t going to put myself in those awkward moments anymore.

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Then years later, I dated a guy who I had asked if he was single, and he told me yes. I asked him again and he told me he was single. Weeks later, I found out he was in a relationship. A woman called my phone and confronted me about me and him dating and I told her yes, we are, but thank goodness she didn’t go off for me because her words were, “I’m not mad at you and I don’t have any problems with you.” I told her I had asked him, and he told me he wasn’t in a relationship. So, she was like that’s not true, and they were soon to be getting ready to get married. I told her where I was sorry because I didn’t know, and she said thank you for telling me the truth and I said you’re welcome. I couldn’t believe that she wanted to do a set up with me and him on the phone. She set him up and it was funny because he didn’t know that we both were on the phone and so we both confronted him, and he still denied everything. When we got off the phone, her and I decided that he was a liar. Later on, he called me and asked me why I told her about me and him and I told him that she needed to know the truth. He got mad and hung up the phone on me. From there I learned never to date anyone like that because it’s not worth the drama and I’m glad that I learned that lesson. It’s funny how sometimes in life you take the

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good with the bad. We may not know why we go through certain situations, but God has a bigger plan. Now I’m in a new relationship and I will say that we have had some rocky roads with all our ups and downs but guess what my boyfriend remembers every important thing, like birthdays, Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, and Christmas. He pays close attention to everything I like.

Me and my boyfriend, David.

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Some of the things, my boyfriend and I like to do during the Holidays.

On top of that he’s not like every other guy I met where all they wanted was what I had or what was in between my legs, instead our relationship is being done the right way. It’s good to be in a relationship where I am appreciated for who I am.

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Chapter 5

Lessons of Life I would like to share some lessons I have learned in life. One lesson is at times it’s better to hold things in, rather than something be restated in a way I didn’t intend it to be. Even messages on social media can be misconstrued because intentions can be different than the perception. The other thing I want to mention is that I found out years ago that my aunt and I had a crazy relationship. Why do I say that? It’s because I was told that I used

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to be shy before me and my Aunt Vanessa became close which I thought was crazy to me because I am the type of person that is cool with everybody. My aunt has brought out the more social side of me. She has taught me to see the best in people. I am still learning how to do that every day. My aunt is the one who took me to camp, and she is the reason why I was able to get into camp. If it wasn’t for my Aunt Vanessa, I wouldn’t be able to go to places I need to go, as an example doctors, hospitals, and other activities. She provides transportation for me to get to these places and I appreciate how she cooks for me. This is my Aunt Vanessa.

Aunt Vanessa and one of my cousins, her daughter.

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Another lesson I learned in life is to enjoy life’s moments. When I go to camps and conferences, I have a good time. It is the best experience of being around people that I remember the most. Another lesson I learned is focus on the good times in life and keep hope for the future. I’m at camp with campers, staff members, and buddies. All campers have same disability, spina bifida.

Here I am with some of my friends.

Some of my favorite outside activities include swimming, horseback riding, and yes, even rock

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climbing. I didn’t think I could get used to being at elevated heights. I sat in a seat during rock climbing swinging back and forth and I got used to it.

Some of the things we do at camp, trying to hit the target.

I just love animals.

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Horseback riding was fun.

I’m relaxing in the pool.

Another lesson is to be careful with the circle of people you hang around with. Be careful who you bring into your circle. I had to learn to walk away from people sometimes. People who were fighting about something small and petty things. There is no need for fighting over one person because there are plenty of options. There is no need fighting over a guy who tries to be with every girl he meets. Like in school, people will fight over a seat because that’s where they always sit. There are plenty of seats

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to sit inside a cafeteria. To fight over a seat in a cafeteria is stupidity because there are other options. If it’s something meaningful, I could see fighting over certain issues. Why would I fight over a seat when there are so many other seats in the cafeteria? I learned to be careful when people try to rush me. I think we should all go at our own pace in life. Take your time and don’t rush to avoid mistakes. Move at God’s pace and enjoy life.

We’re spending some time at the park.

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Going For a Motorcycle Ride

I’m getting some activities and having fun outside.

Ready.aim. fire a BB gun

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We are having soap much fun.

The time I went fishing.

I like ziplining.

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Like one of my favorite celebrities says in one of her songs, along these lines: I feel beautiful, beautiful you could not crush my soul, crush my soul, nothing you can do to me could take my right to feel beautiful, beautiful. I was down so low down so low, but I won’t be brought down anymore. I stand with my head held high I feel beautiful, I feel beautiful. Hey nothing you can say to me because I feel beautiful. She is right, no one can take your rights at all away from you. Even when being picked on, know that greater is He in you. The title of this book is called Standing Blessed and Beautiful because we all are blessed, and we all were made in the image of God. In God’s eyes, each one of His children are beautiful or handsome. Words can hurt and filling up spiritually with the words of the Bible is the best armor of God. We shouldn’t internalize what other people say, what matters most is what does God say about us. How do we know what God says? There are different ways to listen to the Bible online or from an app. It takes setting aside time to spend with God in prayer and biblical meditation. When we read the Bible, we learn more about the things of God and we have greater insight on what does God think of us.

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“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31 Well now that I have told you about my life right now, I hope that it gives you insight and helps you to achieve all in your life. If you have ever gone through difficult times, I know how it feels to be called different names, to be picked on, to be talked about and treated differently. I hope you enjoy this story and if you have any questions feel free to reach out to me because with God’s help, I was able to get through all this in life and you can too.